Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
