I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
