before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
