let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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