Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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