thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize