She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
