I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Porn is love you can see.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
