I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
