can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i believe in u and ur pee
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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