...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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