i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
