I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
