This girl is more easily done than said...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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