You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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