your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
