My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
