Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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