you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
