I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He did a backflip because drugs
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
do nipples grow back?
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