508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
