and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
