Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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