Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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