I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My bed smells like the plague
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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