i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
