im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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