i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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