Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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