so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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