I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
