i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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