Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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