im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
