The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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