Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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