So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize