Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
