I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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