Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
