Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
