i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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