Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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