Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
