On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
