I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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