Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
