Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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