It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
