i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
