If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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