Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
