Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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