Small penises have feelings too.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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