You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need to calm my uterus...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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