No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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