Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
