I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
