just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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