Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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