You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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