Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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